Why You Self-Sabotage + How To Stop
‘Why You Self Sabotage & How To Stop’ | ⏱ 3-Minute Read
One of the biggest blocks my clients come in with is perpetual self-sabotage. They know they're holding themselves back, but they just can't seem to identify their blind spots and move forward into their most empowered and confident expression.
Before we dive into why we self sabotage, here are a few examples of what self-sabotage looks like in action:
Waiting til the last minute to get a project done and crashing under the pressure.
Staying in touch with that ex or that situationship that you know is not actually good for you and what you authentically want.
Scrolling for hours at night instead of going to bed at a reasonable hour and getting nourishing rest.
Keeping processed foods in the house when you're trying to eat primarily whole foods.
Overspending when you've made a budget that best suits your lifestyle.
You get it! We're all human :) The point of bringing this all to the surface is simply to gain greater awareness and bring more compassion and understanding to why we self-abandon like this.
So, what does the root system beneath self-sabotage actually look like? It typically comes down to the following:
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You might be experiencing general overwhelm and anxiety. When this happens perpetually, and your nervous system is constantly trying to regulate, you can often find yourself in ‘freeze’ mode. → Freezing can look like isolating yourself, binge-watching shows, sleeping a lot more than necessary, etc.
You might be a perfectionist. I would actually change the word perfectionism to ‘paralysis’. → Perfectionism can show up as extreme procrastination much of the time, or constantly feeling self-conscious and neurotic about the work you're putting out.
You could be afraid of the responsibility that comes with growth. → This can show up as imposter-syndrome or settling for far less than you're worth in relationships, your career, your health, etc.
You might simply have a lack of awareness. We don't know what we don't know! → This can lead to the feeling of being lost and confused about your path forward.
Now that you have a better idea of what is actually bubbling beneath the surface of self-sabotage, you can begin to heal it from the ground up! The key to healing this wounding is having the courage and the confidence to sit in self-inquiry and study your thoughts and behaviors. It means getting honest with yourself in the most loving way, and remembering that change simply equals growth.
When we allow ourselves the grace and the permission to change, we expand. But most of us fear change because it is, of course, unfamiliar.. unpredictable.. and for that reason, it feels unsafe. The ‘work’ is to rewire the belief that change is unsafe, to understanding that can be a beautiful process of education and glorious evolution if we allow it.
I cover all the ways in which I've helped myself and my clients to overcome self-sabotage in episode 193 of The Lifted Podcast! You can click HERE to stream it on Spotify or HERE to stream it on Apple.
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Love always,
Helen
