What I Learned From A Life Coach
A couple weeks ago, I had the pleasure of shadowing a workshop for life coaches. One of my buddies was in the program, and I attended with a mutual friend - all of us having met through our work with UN Women. I never thought we’d end up sitting in a room together for a life coach workshop! The Universe works in mysterious ways.
There were about ten coaches sitting at a round table. On the wall, each person had a big sheet of paper with their name on it that listed their survival mechanisms and also their more amicable traits. From what I gathered, this was meant to hold them accountable for their ‘shadow selves’ and their ‘light selves’ (using different terminology). A few coaches offered to share what they had been working through and receive coaching from their peers.
Honestly, I had never seen such blunt and beautiful honesty. The coaches worked together to unpack their peers’ defense mechanisms, call them out on it, and then reframe their belief systems (the story they’d been telling themselves) to help them grow. They got into topics like guilt around money and feeling unworthy of love.
Now, coaches are different than therapists. Therapists typically help people heal from past trauma or negative experiences, while coaches see their clients as already whole and fully equipped. From what I got, coaches are more like accountability buddies who help us reach our goals with specific strategies for getting the job done. They also help us to figure out ‘who we really are’ and then use our strengths to shift into better life standings.
I decided to do a coaching session with one of the guys in the class. After observing his honest and concise feedback for his peers, and hearing more about his life - I thought he would be a great person to help me understand myself better and identify my patterns in everyday life. So, we hopped on a call after the workshop and spent two hours #breakingitdown honey.
It was pretty instrumental for me, and I want to share one of the exercises we did:
Contact six people who you are close with in your life. Tell them you are working on a self-reflection assignment and ask, "What shows up when I do? What qualities do I bring to a room?" Allow them to respond honestly and then ask, "Is there anything else you'd like to me to know?".
You might be surprised by the answers! Once you get at least three responses, narrow it down to the common denominators - that is your essence. Mine turned out to be: presence, humor, clarity and optimism :)
It's a great way to get closer with your friends/family and I encourage you to offer insight for them as well (if they are down)! Finally, ask yourself if your life truly reflects your essence. Does your job/living situation line up with your truest nature? How about your friends? Do they exhibit similar qualities - do they remind you of who you really are?
Love always, Helen Denham
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