Facing the Matrix
Greetings Loved Ones,
This is gonna be a long one...
I had quite a shock to the system on Monday. My Instagram page (@helen.denham) was hacked, held for ransom and then removed! The day it happened was just so weird, all around...I was sitting at the Wing (a co-working space/clubhouse) when all of a sudden the fire alarm went off and we all got evacuated. A group of people outside had set off a pink smoke bomb for an Instagram photo-op and it had smoked up the entire space. While I was waiting outside to go back in, I got an email that my IG account had been taken over. First I laughed, then I panicked...then I called the police...then I contemplated...
It might not seem like a big deal, but I have been working for years on curating this page and building a little community. The whole thing felt like an invasion of privacy...but more notably, it felt like a stamp of validation had been removed from my being. My follower count was my currency. For a long time, I had been identifying myself with my online persona - feeling better and better (or worse and worse) depending on how much engagement I got. Spending huge chunks of time planning photos out, staring at my phone during meals, experiencing anxiety when a post wasn't ready....afraid that my lack of content would throw off the algorithm...that I would be less visible.
I hadn't really noticed these tendencies in my psyche until my account was gone. All of a sudden, I was shocked back into the reality of just being me. A single human being just walking down the street...untethered. Unedited, unfiltered, unbound to the matrix. To my surprise, I felt a sense of relief - a hesitation to fight for the account back. And I wondered, what value has Instagram really brought to my life? And what value am I giving to the community? Sometimes Instagram is wonderful! I have set up some awesome collaborations, met great new friends, learned so many new things and had a lot of laughs. But what does the flip side look like? Where have I been missing out on authentic connections and experiences?
The whole point of this rant / overall experience is to recognize the system of control that is social media. Let's not forget that our feed (isn't it creepy that it's called a feed?) is literally designed to mimic a slot machine - to keep us highly addicted. We are a society addicted to the idea of fame...addicted to wealth and material goods...addicted to the 'like'. Grasping for those new sneakers, that new purse...those new lips. Losing sight of who we really are and our intrinsic value.
I will still make an effort to get my account back, but it's time for my obsessive behavior with the app to stop. It's time to be a lot more conscious about how we use social media as a society, and really question how much value it brings to our lives. We are so much more than the pictures we post and the likes we receive. I find myself actually grateful for this whole experience - for reminding me of what's truly important in life.
If you made it all the way through that - love ya :) Thanks for reading. How has social media affected your life? How do you balance it all?
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