Communicating Your Needs + Setting Boundaries
I bet you can think back to a time when you would say yes to everything to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, or you would sacrifice your own time to please someone else. Perhaps every sentence would include an “I’m sorry” or “I just -”… sound familiar? Well, let’s not be too hard on ourselves. It’s only natural to want the approval of people we care about, and natural to want to fit in. However, when those sentiments reach a tipping point we can easily find ourselves feeling frustrated, unhappy, and small. When it reaches that point (and hopefully before it does), we’ve got to take an honest look at ourselves and make some changes.
When we resort to people-pleasing and overly apologetic behavior, what we’re really communicating is: low self-worth. The same goes for when we ignore an issue altogether and push it under the rug because we don’t want to rock the boat. Women, especially, have been taught to stay silent….to not cause drama…to not be a bitch. It’s time to flip that narrative and change the language to: confident, assertive, and a boss ;) This is a good time to take an honest look at your life and identify the areas which are causing you unnecessary stress and anxiety.
How can you step into your worth and communicate your needs to transform the issue? I’ll give you an example: I lived with a couple who I loved dearly, but they would fight quite often. I take pride in curating a peaceful environment in my home and the fighting really started to get on my nerves…partly because I would get caught in the middle of it at times. I had to have a very frank conversation with them to let them know that, as much as I loved them, if the fighting in our communal spaces continued, we would no longer be able to live together. Roommates offer a great learning lesson because communication and boundary setting are always necessary. It can be as simple as communicating your needs around keeping the space clean or setting boundaries for your involvement in their lives…you catch my drift.
In the past, I might have just stayed in my own space and fumed over my frustrations without actually doing anything. Now, after working on my self-esteem and self-worth, I address issues that arise immediately…in all areas of my life from roommates to partners, to family, to business. And you know what? People will respect you more for it! Plus, when they see you in your worth, they are prompted to do the same. It’s a win-win all around, and it builds trust with the people in our lives.
It all comes down to building up our confidence which can be improved by being honest with ourselves, practicing positive self-talk, taking the time to go inward and do the shadow work, and exercising (which literally shakes us into a higher frequency). The more deeply we love ourselves, the higher our standards are, and the more beautiful and peaceful our lives become. So raise your standards honeyy and communicate your needs! You deserve it. I love you.
P.S. Here are some recorded affirmations that will help you up-level <3
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