Why You Doubt Yourself + How To Get Out Of Your Own Way

Why You Experience Self-Doubt 
+ How To Get Out Of Your Own Way…

⏱ 3-Minute Read

Self-doubt can manifest in any myriad of ways, from not applying for a higher position at work or pitching yourself for a collaboration, to self-sabotaging a great relationship, to neglecting your health… it can infect any and every area of our lives if we allow it to. 

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And even though I am referring to self-doubt as a ‘dis-ease’ here, that is not to villainize the condition. In fact, it's a calling forward of deeper love and understanding. Think of someone you love catching a bad cold - you wouldn't shame them for it, right? You would bring them blankets and tea and give them lots of support while they rest and recover. 

Our shadow selves (the self that experiences doubt, shame, anger, pain..) deserve that same level of patience, understanding, and compassion while we make an effort to heal. 

As with any kind of disease of the mind,  we've got to figure out where it stemmed from to heal the root cause instead of the symptom. So, where does self-doubt tend to originate from? I'll give you two big predicators:  

#1) Beliefs passed down from our caretakers. We tend to pick up stories in childhood about the ‘realities’ of life. These stories can look like: “You'll never be able to make a lot of money unless you get your Master's Degree” or, “This disease runs in our family, so you are destined to get it too.” These engrained beliefs can stop us from pursuing big financial goals or from getting healthy, for example, if we believe we're already destined to fail. We'll tend to self sabotage and end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. 

→ How to alchemize this wounding: 

✍️ Identify the limiting belief and ask yourself, it this story absolutely 100% true?? 

✍️ Determine if the belief is helping you or harming you. 

✍️ Then, determine how you would show up to life differently if you no longer held that belief. 

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This quick, yet intensive, process of self inquiry will start to change your brain.. literally (look up neuroplasticity). I do a more extensive version of this with my mentorship clients and it is mind-blowing to see how their lives begin to change week to week as they approach their circumstances from a place of empowerment. The external starts to reflect the internal - new opportunities arise, relationships evolve, they take better care of themselves.. life gets brighter.  

#2) Comparing yourself to your peers. The oldest story in the book, right? When your mind is already running on a loop of suffering and unworthiness, you'll start to seek it out and unconsciously look for it (look up cognitive bias). As you look at the people around you who are succeeding, your default will tend to be, “I'm not good enough.. I'm so far behind.. They are so much better than me.” 

 → How to alchemize this wounding: 

✍️ Use the exact same formula that I gave you above to sort out your feelings of inadequacy. 

✍️ Actively shift your jealousy or envy into inspiration. Study these people that seem so far beyond you and gain an understanding of how they got there. What do you admire so much about them? What do their habits look like? How can you start to apply some of their knowledge to your own life in your own unique way? Try your best not to copy or mimic, but instead, focus on what you love about their frequency and tap into your own authentic expression of it. 

✍️ Focus on what makes you amazing and unique. Literally write down all of the things that you love about yourself and what you are proud of yourself for. Do this often. I have a ‘wins’ list in my notes app that I add to every single day to keep my attention focused on the positive aspects of my life. Where your focus goes, your energy flows.  

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 To deepen your healing, tune into The Lifted Podcast every Wednesday (🎧: Spotify 🎧: Apple) .