How To Be Alone (And Enjoy It!)
When it comes down to it, you came into this world alone and you will leave this world alone. Wow sorry to slap you in the face with that; but the sentiment can also be very empowering! When we find the courage to truly be alone and at peace with ourselves, life opens up for us. Why? Because when we are comfortable on our own, it means our self-worth is in alignment. And when our self-worth is high, the law of attraction honors that and brings us circumstances and people that match our vibration.
I am writing to you from a campground near Lake Ontario. The fire is crackling, my plant friends are sitting on the picnic table, and the sun is setting over a beautiful field that stretches as far as the eye can see. I'm at the beginning of a months-long trip from Maine to California...alone :).
Learning how to exist happily alone allowed this trip to come to fruition, and it's allowed me to enjoy so many other experiences that might not have worked out if I had been scared of being solo. So, how can you get to a place where you're 100% okay with being alone? May it be alone vs. in a relationship... alone on a solo trip...living alone. You feel me.
1. Honor your spiritual and mental wellbeing daily. There are so many directions you could take to hone in on a personal practice, but I will always come back to meditation. Meditation allows us to observe ourselves objectively and connects us to a collective consciousness. With meditation, we come to realize that so many of our fears and insecurities stem from outside sources, not from within.
2. Find a hobby that brings you joy - something that you can practice when you're in the zone. Having a hobby allows us to see tangible progress with something that is deeply personal. It could be sketching, picking up an instrument, baking, collaging...whatever feels authentic to you. Furthermore, having a hobby is a reminder that all you need is you to have a great time and feel a sense of accomplishment.
3. Create a warm and loving environment for yourself. Clean up your space and make it a nook that you look forward to retreating to. This is a way of inviting yourself in, if you will. Make yourself a temple, goddess!
4. Spend time in nature. We are so deeply connected to this planet on an ancestral and cellular level, and our bodies crave the attunement. Our circadian rhythm (internal clock) syncs up with the cycles of nature for a reason. When we make time to reconnect with nature, we feel a sense of home and belonging that goes beyond words.
5. Here's a fun one: Make a list of your best qualities. Sit down with your journal and write out all of your attributes until you fill the page (at least). Realize and remind yourself that you are a boss honeyyyyy! You are amazing! You are powerful! You are so deeply loved. Revisit your list often.
Remember that no matter where you are in life and no matter how alone you feel...you're never actually alone. Someone is always thinking of you, and community is all around us. Trust in yourself and trust in the kindness of strangers.
** It's only fair that I mention the craving for community that has accompanied the pandemic. For those of us who are missing family and generally missing physical touch - I honor that and am right there with you. Perhaps the above tools will simply help to ease that yearning...ease your heart.
For more on this topic, I really enjoyed This American Life's recent episode: How To Be Alone.
++ here is a link to a blog post I did on solo-travel specifically.
Love you.
