Building A New Habit | 6 Tips For Lasting Change
Hello angels,
Today, let’s focus on building a new habit - quite a mysterious topic for which there is no straight-up answer, but I’ll dive into what’s helped me on my path. I would recommend getting out your journal and writing down your responses for each of the following prompts :)
#1 - Define your why. Why do you want to integrate this new practice into your life? Really take a moment to sit with your answer. Then, ask yourself if it’s coming from a place of love or fear - you’ll know. If it’s coming from a place of love, then yass Queen. If it’s coming from a place of fear/self-loathing - good for you for realizing that, and I would set your sights on forming a more gentle practice, like keeping up with a gratitude journal or doing daily meditations on compassion.
#2 - Make it as easy as possible for yourself. For example, if you are building the habit of exercising for 30 minutes every day, have your outfit already laid out and ready so you don’t have to think twice about it. Or if you’re building the habit of eating vegetables for dinner, have your veggies pre-prepared so that you don’t reach for something unhealthy because it’s faster.
#3 - Find three examples of people doing the same thing well (Lacy Phillips calls them ‘Expanders’). Research these individuals and pinpoint what exactly got them to the place you aspire to be in. Follow these people on social media, understand them, relate to them…prove to yourself that you can do it too! See to believe.
#4 -Keep track of how you are feeling on a daily basis - use your journal (or notes on your phone) as an accountability buddy. Check in each day with your progress, and don’t get discouraged if you fall off track here and there. Do not punish yourself by going to extremes either - just pick up where you left off! Consistency is the key for building a new habit.
#5 - Subconscious work. This is THE most important. Rewire your belief system with new perspectives that serve your higher self. Your beliefs become your thoughts which become your words which become your actions which become your life. My favorite ways to do this are through:
Mirror Work: Speak to yourself in the mirror each morning - look directly into your own eyes and say positive affirmations to yourself out loud, like “I am capable of anything I set my mind to…I am worthy of greatness…I am whole exactly as I am…I love honor and accept myself…”
Hypnosis/Meditation: Before you go to bed, find a guided meditation or hypnosis to listen to. Click here for a good one :) This work is absolutely necessary for rebuilding our belief systems around self-worth and acceptance. From this place of confidence, we can manifest our desires and build new habits much more easily.
#6 - Integrate your new habit into habits that already exist for you. For example, if you are building a new habit of drinking two big glasses of water every morning, drink your water while you are making your coffee or tea. Or if you are building the habit of running every day, integrate that with walking your dog (if you have a furry friend) - take a run instead!
Finally, shower yourself with love through the process. Celebrate your lil’ milestones and do not beat yourself up in the moments in which you find yourself disappointed. Go back to your why when you feel discouraged, and acknowledge that this is a process with ups and downs. You will get there. Please be kind to yourself. Building a new habit must be based on loving yourself more deeply - not punishing yourself for who you are not. Otherwise, you’ll slip back into self-loathing behavior.
This is all about leveling up, changing your reality, tuning into a new frequency. I applaud you for your readiness to integrate with the next version of yourself, while acknowledging that you are whole and enough already, exactly as you are.
On a side note, I suspect that many of you might be here for tips around losing weight which I completely understand - I’ve been there and I’m still working on loving my body exactly as it is every day. I bring up weight loss because so many of us want to change because we think we aren’t good enough as we are. Please be mindful of that self-limiting belief, and reframe your way of thinking to integrate love and acceptance before you tackle the external.
Recommended read: ‘Women, Food & God’ by Geneen Roth
I love you. You got this.
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