From Identity Crisis to Purposeful Living: Notes On Self-Discovery
STORY TIME -
I always knew I wanted to be an entertainer… mostly a singer-songwriter. That drive and want took me through college where I studied music, theatre and business which led me to perform all over New York City. I strongly identified with the persona that I had created and had essentially programmed myself to stay on that track for…ever. I couldn’t quite comprehend another option.
As I started to book more and more shows, it was necessary for me to rehearse for at least an hour a day for about a month prior to any given performance. As that momentum built, I realized that making music wasn’t the ‘job’ I wanted... I missed the sacredness of simply creating. Plus, when I took a good look at my peers - they were living and breathing their music. They wanted to rehearse and their instruments were like extensions of them - they were clearly in alignment and I couldn’t quite relate to that. There was something missing... a silent pull in another direction.
When I zoomed out and looked at my life from an objective perspective, I realized that I was living and breathing energetics and subconscious healing… in that, I was obsessed with psychology, shadow work, connecting with spirit, and self-mastery. That obsession had been the feeling I was missing all along. And when I reallllly zoomed out, I knew that my overarching purpose was rooted in healing because it would assist in the evolution of our species.
If humans can learn to truly love and respect one another, we can create heaven on earth…freedom for all beings…the end of suffering. I truly believe that it’s possible for people to evolve into this benevolent version of ourselves, and we’re all going to need to come together to make that happen for the next generations. We are all going to need to deeply root into a higher purpose as a collective in order to transmute the shadow that has been stifling our evolution.
EMBRACING CHANGE -
To bring this all together - it’s okay to change your trajectory. It’s okay for you to change your identity and question everything you once knew or wanted… in fact, it’s necessary. A fixed identity is an illusion. I don’t think I’ll ever stop creating music because it’s a form of catharsis, but my overall sense of purpose has expanded in a way I had never imagined. Be gentle with yourself if you find that your desires and ambitions have changed as you’ve grown as a person.
And finally, you don’t have to be or do just one thing! That crazy idea is drilled into our heads from the time we were in kindergarten - “What do you want to be when you grow up?” It’s beautiful to have multiple passions that spike in importance and ebb and flow over the span of your life - that’s what makes life so exciting! But what is your soul’s overarching ‘why’ that connects everything? Why do you think your soul chose to incarnate at this time in this environment?
It’s not about finding one purpose, it’s about living life with purpose.
What changes have you been experiencing recently? Are you stepping into a new version of yourself?
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